You’ve decided that you’re going to make that coveted sex toy purchase. You’ve examined the shape, size and every other characteristic of your vibrator, but when you get home and turn the thing on its motor is revving like a racecar.
Shocked and mortified you turn your vibrator off, but that temptation of that power sitting in your hands is too much to ignore. Whatever shall you do?
Well, first off, come back to reality. The truth is no matter what the packaging or description says NO vibrator is completely quiet. Some might have a very low hum or buzzing sound and others are so loud that you’re scared that you might wake up the neighbors.
Let’s face it, unless you are playing music, watching television or have incredibly thick walls, someone is going to hear you and you vibrator. It’s up to you, what you can stand, your roommate in the next room getting an earful or the entire floor hearing an electronic buzzing.
As mentioned earlier, no vibrators are completely quiet, but some come pretty close to being inaudible.
Remote Control Vibrators – These tiny little sex toys are the closest you’ll get to a quiet vibrator. The motors are very small, of course, to accommodate the small size of the vibrator itself. Many people like the secrecy of wearing them in public, so noise is a no-no. Beware, though, remote control vibrators do carry a very low electronic noise. In a room that’s dead silent, the sound can be heard. So, don’t try to sneak an electronic vibrator under your wedding dress to ease your jitters lest your cover be blown.
Jelly or Jelly Vinyl Vibrators – These soft materials that are common to vibrators and many other sex toys are also sound insulators. Jelly and jelly vinyl absorb the movements produced by the motor and sound, making vibrators made from this material very quiet.
On the flip side, some vibrators seem like they are just meant for the whole world to know that you’re using one. They shake, rumble and roll so loudly that you’re left wondering is this orgasm even worth it . . . wait, sure it is!
Bigger Batteries = Bigger Sound – If you are using C size batteries or larger, expect your vibrator to run like the Energizer Bunny™, yet sound like a parade of motorized toothbrushes marching down your street. The power is great, but the noise is inevitable.
Wand or “Body Massagers” – Similar to vibrators that use larger batteries, the additional power from your socket that is streaming through that electronic vibrator is going to make it one of the loudest vibrator you’ll ever use. You might as well announce to the world that you’ll be partaking in some self-love this afternoon with your electronic massager, because they’ll hear the sound anyway.
Smooth Plastic or Metal Vibrators – These vibrators can be loud if the battery casing bangs against the tubing while it vibrates. Otherwise, they are pretty quiet.
Waterproof Vibrators – Splish-splashing in the tub with your vibrator can be the ultimate fun, but keep in mind that water increases sound waves, making the vibrator that is so quiet when dry sound up to four times louder in water.
There is a way to overcome the noise your vibrator makes.
Don’t get bummed because your vibrator wakes the kids. There are some things that you can do to lessen the sound of your vibrating pal.
Use a Towel – Place a towel or a blanket over your external vibrator to muffle the noise. Just be careful of overheating your vibrator. You don’t want super hot things next to your tender parts.
Forfeit the power – Use your vibrator on a lower setting that won’t require the motor to do as much work.
Don’t use your vibrator too long – The longer you run the motor on certain vibrators, the louder they get because the motor is working over time. Cut your usage time to 15 -20 minute intervals at the most.
Under the Covers – Use your vibrator under the covers and you can be quieter and secretive as well, if you’re in the room with someone else.
Cover your Vibrator – Dress your vibrator up in a jelly sleeve or penis extender. It will make your vibrator quieter, as well as add some new textures that will make you feel out of this world.
Until someone invents an absolutely silent motor, vibrators will make noise, but you’re a sexually free human being and don’t care who knows what you’re doing— Right?
Well, if not, take heed to some of the advice mentioned and find the best and noiseless vibrator out there.
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