Tantric sex cannot be rushed, there are many ways to achieve that all elusive state of absolute ecstasy. Here I’ve set it out in detail and like the act itself it leaves no stone unturned!
Tantric sex is not about spending days in bed, on the kitchen table or in the shower romping until you can hardly move. In fact it may surprise some to know that tantric sex does not necessarily have to involve penetration at all.
Based on ancient Hindu practices, tantric sex is about listening to your body and that of your partner and building and enjoying a heightened sensuality and the build-up of sexual energy
For tantric sex to be all it can be, both parties need to be completely at ease. Burn candles, incense or oils to create a relaxing atmosphere, consider light levels and above all think about comfort, with lots of soft cushions, pillows, scarves and throws in soft, sumptuous materials.
Your tongue is one of the most effective tools on your body for offering the most exquisite sensations. The tongue can provide ripples of pleasure whether it is used at the base of the neck or the base of the spine. Of course, the tongue can provide amazing levels of pleasure in just the right spot!
For the female: Gently grip your lover’s penis at the base, using the pad of your thumb to gently stroke his balls. Now imagine the throbbing cock in front of you is a thirst quenching ice lolly on the hottest day. Use your tongue to lick upwards from the bottom of the penis to the very tip, slowly and sensually. Repeat this action, varying the pressure of your tongue as you lick all sides of your penis lolly. Don’t forget the tip, roll your tongue gently a figure of eight at first slowly, then faster but remember to leave your partner at a level of heightened sexual awareness, as the goal is to pleasure and tease, not bring on the orgasm just yet!
For the male: The clitoris is not called the love bud for nothing. A feather like touch on the underside of the clit slowly at first and then faster will have your partner gasping. Vary the pressure of your tongue and the speed to give waves of pleasure to your partner but don’t bring her too close to the edge straight away, let her bask in the sexual energy you help to build. Remember that the clitoris is not the be all and end all of the female sexual area so probe, lick and gently suck, giving attention to the highly sensitive area between the opening of the vagina and the anus.
It takes time for couples to feel comfortable and to completely open up to their partner at this level. Talking about how you feel, your dreams and fantasies while listening to, responding to and giving respect to your partner’s in turn is key to truly enjoying each other on a different level than you have previously. Whatever your fantasy there is no shame; a fantasy is a fantasy, and sharing this, no matter how full on it may seem to you is another way of laying yourself bare and open to your partner. You never know, they may decide to help you act out your fantasy.
As you open up to each other you can partake in a little role play. Try teacher and pupil or nurse and patient, taking turns for each of you to be the dominant one. Remember though no matter how good your bedside manner is tantric sex is not tantric sex if you bring them to climax!
Tantric sex is not based on any goal, there is one end and there is no beginning. There is no rush and couples should take the time to explore each other intimately, fully and with love.
As sexual as the experience is, the main focus is not always the penis or the clitoris, although they do play a part in the exploration. The whole body is made up of nerve endings and once completely at ease the whole body can be a sexual object. Kiss, lick, nibble, use your hair, stubble, the lightest touch of the finger-tips and move around the zones of the body, finding centres of pleasure, communicating with each other, talking, laughing and just enjoying the build of sexual energy and love. Tease your partner, leave them wanting more and watch them tingle with anticipation of the next touch.
Finger, toes and even teeth for those that enjoy a good nibble are great props for teasing and pleasuring each other. Sometimes however something more is required. You can use a long feather and ever so gently caress the body, the nipples, the stomach or the inside of the thigh. There are many props and sex toys that can add variety to the proceedings and give both partners an opportunity to explore their own likes and hit heights only previously dreamt of. Tantric sex is great for trying out new sex toys, as you relax with each other you can lose inhibitions and make requests you usually wouldn’t.
Use a blind fold, one that really does obscure all view and tie your lover’s arms above their head and legs spread wide. Stand back and watch them squirm with excited pleasure, not knowing where the next touch is coming from. You can add other forms of bondage too such as nipple clamps or even a gag. Some like to block out the sense of hearing as for every sense you numb another is heightened and this is usually your sexy sense!
This form of love making is about sharing, both giving and receiving pleasure. It is ok to touch yourself. Talk you your partner and show them how to touch you, how to stroke you, explain how to lick your clitoris to the best effect, how fast and how slow, how to handle the cock, how much pressure to use, whether you prefer your nipples rubbed, pulled or stroked. Be aware of your own body and share this knowledge with your partner. They will want to know.
Some people enjoy watching porn in a relationship, however if this is used in tantric sex it should only be as a background influence as your focus on each other is the most important factor at play here.
Instead read erotic stories, or even better make up your own, each writing a paragraph each of what you’d like to see happen next to the protagonist of your creative piece.
It’s this magic of intimate touch that allows you to experience orgasms like never before. Some people claim they experience sexual gratification for hours, each sensation intensifying with each touch, no matter where the hand may lay. Above all, take time, experiment, and do what feels right for you.
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