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by Katie Peachesa April 13, 2020 2 min read

I'm Not A Slut; I'm Just Not Having Your Nonsense

By Tatyana Dyachenko

So I saw a little line while browsing the other day. It had to do with female promiscuity versus male and went something like this: “If a key opens every lock, it’s a master key. If a lock is opened by any key, it’s a shitty lock.”

The ridiculousness of comparing our junk to home security aside, it really rankles me that this kind of attitude to sexually active women is still kicking around. C’mon people, it’s the 21st century! We have birth control! Women are considered, y’know, equal. It’s not surprising though, considering that the slut label is still alive and well, as a study out of the University of Michigan’s psychology department tells us.

A trio of researchers led by Terri Conley found that this sexual double standard was still very prevalent. People aren’t as readily excusing sleazeball behaviour on the part of men anymore but sadly, women who have casual sex are still perceived to be “more promiscuous, less intelligent, less mentally healthy, less competent and more risky” than males who do the same. A survey of students was conducted in which participants were asked what they thought of someone who accepted an offer of casual sex from a stranger. Half were told that the propositioned’s name was Lisa; the other half, Mark. Surprise, surprise, Mark is a stud, Lisa is a slut.

Conley is having none of this lock ‘n key thinking though, and her study aims to dislodge from our stubborn brains the idea that men are meant to get around while women should wait for a proper relationship. No more of this evolution-justified nonsense about men being hard-wired to sow their oats for a new generation while women instinctively entrap a mate once they’ve started gestating. Conley says that the slut stigma is pretty much the only thing keeping more women from embracing their sexuality and doing some hunting of their own.

So what should ladies be taking away from this info? The slut label isn’t just antiquated, it’s all relative and therefore, a crock. As Kat Stoeffel of The Cut put it: “sluts aren’t sluts because they’re slutty. They’re only slutty relative to the prudes who act prude because they’re afraid of looking like a slut!” I’m all for ditching this outmoded way of thinking so to Kat I say, “right on!”

Conley has another enlightening tidbit for us too. Her last study argued that many women turn down casual sex not out of any fear of being labelled, but because they don’t think their would-be partner could satisfy them! “Women’s perception that their heterosexual casual sex partners will be unlikely to give them pleasure is not unwarranted” says Conley. Now that’s a progressive attitude!

Katie Peachesa
Katie Peachesa

Katie Peachesa is a sex and lingerie blogger based out of the urban chic Wapping in the heart of East London, United Kingdom. In her spare time, Katie enjoys photography, yoga and fitness, a bit of boxing, traveling, keeping up with the latest fashion trends and mudlarking and exploring pastoral settings. You are likely to find Katie in an artisan cafe in Brick Lane on a Saturday afternoon furiously typing her next article on her laptop whilst she is sipping on her flat white and drawing inspiration from the hustle and bustle in the heart of creative London. Katie runs the "Fashion Life Mag" and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Grazia, Tatler, Evening Standard and other popular media outlets.


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