It sounds like a fermentation process – or perhaps something a bit 'stiff upper lip' – but frottaging is neither of these two: it's the act of rubbing your fully-clothed self against another person for sexual stimulation. And, it usually happens in public.
Frottage – or frottaging – is popular at nightclubs where the intoxicated masses grind up against each other on the dance-floor. It's the closest you can get to having sex without being naked. It's hot and sticky, and often both parties are willing … unless, of course, you unexpectedly find yourself in the middle of a dance floor sandwich.
In the last few years, however, it has taken on a whole new meaning. In fact, the new age of frotteur fancies himself a blend of voyeur and frottager – the cheeky combination of someone who likes to touch just a little. If you've ever found yourself in rush hour traffic in the tube, this will be nothing new to you. There's always some bloke who has leant over just too far to cop a feel, or a gawker who really doesn't need to stand that close to you. Still, there's hardly much that you can do while you've got your nose pressed up against someone else's armpit, or you're trying to fit yourself in the little nook outside the DLR doors.
Brian Shealy, a writer for the satirical blog The Onion wrote a rather humorous account of life as a Frotteur. 'Contrary to popular belief,' Shealy writes, 'frottage takes hard work and dedication.' You have to plan for all the variables, he goes on to describe, 'leverage, weight distribution, thickness of fabric, momentum—the list goes on.' The problem is when he's found out: then there's really trouble. Cops, screaming women, and a whole lot of social awkwardness lie ahead.
Jokes aside, it's never pleasant to be on the wrong side of an anonymous frotteur. It's a complete violation of private space, not to mention personal sexual boundaries. You cannot, in any normal society, walk up to someone you don't know and surreptitiously rub your sexual organs against them! It's just not on. That's not to say you can't have fun with it: just make sure that your frottaging partner is someone you know quite well, is fully aware of your actions and completely into it.
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